t e n d e r m e r c i e s

"The Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ." (David A. Bednar, "The Tender Mercies of the Lord", Ensign, May 2005, 99)

Tonight my heart is full of gratitude for the blessings Dean and I have received in the past few days. Friday was a complete whirlwind, but since we decided to get married in October,  we have been happy and at peace. I was worried to tell people about our decision to wait, because when you're an LDS couple extending your engagement eight more months, people automatically assume you've sinned. And it was really hard for me to accept that I could not control what people were to assume about me,  and it's still hard, but it's time to release that worry and frustration and focus on bettering ourselves and our relationship. 

There are moments of bitterness, when I lose sight of how short eight months really is, and I think about the long stretch ahead of us; and when I think about other girls getting engaged and married and pregnant (geeze) in the span that I've been engaged. But I'm pretty sure it was Jeffrey R. Holland who said something about how other people's blessings shouldn't make us envious... and something about pickle juice, haha. 

But those bitter moments disperse into nothing when I acknowledge my love for Dean and how strong we are going to grow together; and how we are actually at seven months and twenty-eight days now. And most importantly, the truth that I fully believe in: God would never put something in our hands that we weren't capable of molding into something beautiful. It's these things I believe in that give me the strength to wake up happy and calm and peaceful. 

 In moments of weakness, I have experienced great love from God, from Dean, from friends and family. I am so blessed, so grateful, and so full of love. Thank you.