Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life. -Ron
Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. -Ron
The bride wore a gown made by her friend Ann Perkins and the groom wore a butt so perfect it could make an angel hang himself. -Leslie
Holy mother of Malia! And Sasha! I love them both equally -Leslie
Why did it take me so long to realize this? There are no consequences to my actions anymore! No matter what I do nothing bad can happen to me. I am like a white male U.S. senator. -Leslie
Ann, you poetic and noble land mermaid. -Leslie
I will leave my children $50 a piece. Enough for the cab ride home from the funeral and a steak dinner. End of discussion. -Ron
Things are exactly the same as they were in 1817. Except women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, and they don't burn widows for learning arithmetic. -Leslie
Do you hear that galloping? What? Oh my- look at that. Joe Biden on a horse. Shirtless. That’s amazing. -Ann
Look, if Ann wants to leave Pawnee I get it. Who wants to stay in the greatest town in the world with her best friend and be happy forever when she can abandon her soul sister like an old shoe and move to a garbage city full of jerks? I get it. No hard feelings. --Leslie
Donna: “Yeah. Is there – and I’m just guessing here – some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of and have taken none of or maybe too much of today?”
Craig: “Oh I have a medical condition all right. It’s called caring too much. And it’s incurable. Also I have Eczema.”
Ron: History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.
- Andy: Look, Hogwarts.
- Ben: No, that's Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don't you? It's important to me that you know that.
Parks and Rec seriously keeps Tyler and me sane. I think it's the only way.
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