I tend to go through motions of emotions (that sentence sounds weird). Like I have one really good week, where I'm really happy. And I have one week where I'm kind of sad. And another week where I'm stressed, or anxious. And it seems like I'm never truly happy--just happy--for more than a week out of a month. And I'm not talking about the kind of "happy" that we have grown accustom to, where we have a pretty good day so we are content, or we have a day where nothing bad happens, so that must be a happy day. I'm talking about the happy where everything is absolutely perfect and life is so good and nothing could ever go wrong and in your mind you are skipping through a field of daisies.
And I think we rarely see these days because we are so focused on other things--that thesis that needs to be written, that six hour shift you have to get through, that doctor appointment you have to go to, etc etc etc. it seems to be that if we have one event in the day that we don't want to face, it becomes a bad or "normal" day--the type of days that consume most of the month. And maybe none of you can relate to this and I just have some emotional disorder, but I think a lot of people focus on the negatives throughout the day. And as much as I hate to admit it, I fall into that category a lot of the time.
How does this happen? Attitude, perspective, and complaint. Today is a perfect example for me. I have to take a dreaded math test. If you don't know, I have the math brain of a junior high kid. I cannot, and do not want to, grasp the concept of math and it's importance in my life.
So, I woke up with a negative attitude. Literally the first thought I had today was, "Oh no, I have math." And how sad is that? I didn't even notice the sun shining through my window or the birds chirping. And I of course have a terrible perspective about math. Math is the class that I tend to skip because it is hell to sit through and learning math won't do any good for me (I know, I know, it will). But you get the gist. I hate math so much that it ruins my day. And not just Thursdays, it ruins half of my Wednesdays because I sit dreading the next day. And lastly, I complain. Holy cow I complain like no other about math. Thursdays are the day that in my mind, the fields of daisies become fields of fire.
And I'm sure my happiness would increase so much if I stopped dwelling on the negativity of math and just accepted it as part of my day. And I would probably see my self esteem rise on Thursdays if I stopped seeing myself as "stupid" when it came to math. And I'm positive that Thursdays wouldn't be so bad if I woke up listing the positives throughout the day, instead of the negatives--and maybe, just maybe, Thursdays could be a day of happiness for me.
So that's my goal from now on: to stop having a bad attitude about things I don't want to do, to better my perspective and list the positives that will come from the things I don't want to do, and to stop complaining about the things I don't want to do.
This will probably be really hard for me at first, and maybe it will always be hard for me, but I'm almost certain that having a positive attitude can become a habit. And I will make it a habit.
And maybe it won't be as hard if my fiancé keeps up those cat pictures. :)
Also, I'm doing the 100 happy days challenge via Instagram.
Want to learn more about it? http://100happydays.com
Do it.
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