i n n e r strength.

okay, so i think we all have short term and long term goals, right? as a woman, i think it's in our nature to make a goal out of everything. whether it's about school, religion, sports, fashion, etc., we always want to better ourselves (or be better than the person next to us--yikes). which can be beneficial or really bad. highly unrealistic goals are how depression, stress, and anxiety form--but when it's a realistic goal, great things can happen. but sometimes, it's nice to just--do things without any analysis.

today i accomplished a goal i didn't even know i had. and it was unexpected and great and made me feel super good about myself. which brings me to my point--i think we don't understand all of our strengths. i think we only see a very very very small percentage of our greatness. and maybe that's because of society, or personal reasons--but whatever it is, i think it's a great thing to get rid of all that we think we know about ourselves, and just embrace that we don't know everything and run into oblivion with open arms. i think when we do that, something really really great could happen--we could learn more of what god knows we are capable and less of what we think we are.

n o r t h b o u n d

So, something exciting: I'm selling candles. I know, I know. How is that exciting? Candles? How random! Well little kittens, let me tell you a story. Yes, I did just call you that.

Back in January, I made a very important promise to myself that I would be braver, that I would dive back into the arts, and that I would try my hardest to make my talents grow. 

Over the past few months, certain things have fallen apart to make way for certain things to blossom together. All of a sudden, I wasn't getting married in April, I had a small class load, and I wasn't working as much. So I stuck to my promises, and out of that came new hobbies...and brainstorming, and doodles, and....this was the result. 

So....that's something, right?

For now, I have opened an etsy shop. https://www.etsy.com/shop/NorthboundCandles

And soon my talented fiancé will have finished the website. 

Cheers to talents and candles and a whole lot of support! 

Week One.

I just finished the first week of 100 Happy Days. 

Day 1. This little lion has my heart. 

Fiancé+cat=pure joy. 

Sometimes happiness comes in a jar...

And other times it's in the trees. 

If you haven't read Maurice Sendak's "My Brother's Book," you haven't seen enough beauty or shed enough tears. 

"'Just lost--when I am saved!' Jack sighed. And in his arms, as branches will, Wound round his noble-hearted brother. Who he loves more than his own self. And Jack slept safe, Enfolded in his brother's arms. And Guy whispered, 'Good night And you will dream of me.'" 

Happiness is a sleeping baby. 

Learning a new hobby. 

h a p p i n e s s

Today I'm talking about happiness.

I tend to go through motions of emotions (that sentence sounds weird). Like I have one really good week, where I'm really happy. And I have one week where I'm kind of sad. And another week where I'm stressed, or anxious. And it seems like I'm never truly happy--just happy--for more than a week out of a month. And I'm not talking about the kind of "happy" that we have grown accustom to, where we have a pretty good day so we are content, or we have a day where nothing bad happens, so that must be a happy day. I'm talking about the happy where everything is absolutely perfect and life is so good and nothing could ever go wrong and in your mind you are skipping through a field of daisies. 

And I think we rarely see these days because we are so focused on other things--that thesis that needs to be written, that six hour shift you have to get through, that doctor appointment you have to go to, etc etc etc. it seems to be that if we have one event in the day that we don't want to face, it becomes a bad or "normal" day--the type of days that consume most of the month. And maybe none of you can relate to this and I just have some emotional disorder, but I think a lot of people focus on the negatives throughout the day. And as much as I hate to admit it, I fall into that category a lot of the time. 

How does this happen? Attitude, perspective, and complaint. Today is a perfect example for me. I have to take a dreaded math test. If you don't know, I have the math brain of a junior high kid. I cannot, and do not want to, grasp the concept of math and it's importance in my life. 

So, I woke up with a negative attitude. Literally the first thought I had today was, "Oh no, I have math." And how sad is that? I didn't even notice the sun shining through my window or the birds chirping. And I of course have a terrible perspective about math. Math is the class that I tend to skip because it is hell to sit through and learning math won't do any good for me (I know, I know, it will). But you get the gist. I hate math so much that it ruins my day. And not just Thursdays, it ruins half of my Wednesdays because I sit dreading the next day. And lastly, I complain. Holy cow I complain like no other about math. Thursdays are the day that in my mind, the fields of daisies become fields of fire. 

And I'm sure my happiness would increase so much if I stopped dwelling on the negativity of math and just accepted it as part of my day. And I would probably see my self esteem rise on Thursdays if I stopped seeing myself as "stupid" when it came to math. And I'm positive that Thursdays wouldn't be so bad if I woke up listing the positives throughout the day, instead of the negatives--and maybe, just maybe, Thursdays could be a day of happiness for me. 

So that's my goal from now on: to stop having a bad attitude about things I don't want to do, to better my perspective and list the positives that will come from the things I don't want to do, and to stop complaining about the things I don't want to do. 

This will probably be really hard for me at first, and maybe it will always be hard for me, but I'm almost certain that having a positive attitude can become a habit. And I will make it a habit. 

And maybe it won't be as hard if my fiancé keeps up those cat pictures. :) 

Also, I'm doing the 100 happy days challenge via Instagram. 

Want to learn more about it? http://100happydays.com

Do it. 

Women.

To celebrate women and all of their greatness, I've composed a list of five (out of many) reasons why women are so amazing. Let the clapping begin!

1. Let's go back to the days before anesthesia and epidurals. Did you know that women actually gave birth without any pain medication (not to mention, without a hospital to rest in)? Like they didn't have a choice. They just did it and had babies and conquered motherhood. Uh, what? I'm pretty sure that makes women the stronger gender. And I will believe it until I see a man give birth in the forest without pain meds (too much?) 

2. Defeating the age of oppression. From our history classes, I think we can all admit that there were way more male heroes mentioned than females. Why is this? Not because men are more hereoic than women, but because women were severely oppressed (and still oppressed in a lot of countries). I took a women's history class last semester and discovered that women did a lot of GREAT things but a lot of it went unnoticed because they weren't seen as great, powerful, or independent. But guess what? Women took a stand and they marched and fought and argued until they were given the same rights men have always been entitled to. Our ancestors were given nothing and fought for everything. They were warriors. We are warriors by blood. Awesome, right? Right. 

3. One word: fashion. 

We know how to look good and kick a**. A lot of men only know how to do one of those things. 

 Zooey Deschanel says it all. “Here’s the thing about being a girlie girl. I think there was a generation before us that felt like they needed to act like men to be taken seriously, like they had to use their sexuality to take control of people. I don’t judge people for that. But I don’t want to take all my clothes off and use myself as an object. It’s part of the machine and I don’t think that necessarily pushes us forward as women. I think you can still be girlie and maintain your power. The fact that you associate being girlie with being non-threatening, that is … I mean, I can’t think of more blatant example of playing into exactly the thing that we’re trying to fight against. I can’t be girlie? Why do I need to be defined aesthetically by someone else’s perceptions of what makes me seem like someone who should be taken seriously? I’m going to wear whatever I want to wear, because I’m expressing myself, and I deserve that right. And I like the way that looks. You’re not demeaning yourself by acting girlie. I think the fact that people are associating being girlie with weakness, that needs to be examined. Not me dressing girlie. I don’t think that undermines my power at all."

4. Women in politics. For example, Hilary Clinton. Before I start, let me say this: you don't have to like her or what she believes in (or her husband, am I right? Kidding, kidding), but as a woman, you should respect her progressive lead into equality in the political sphere. I mean, come on. She's the first American woman to run for president. She's been discriminated, mocked, and objectified by congressmen, senators, idiotic journalists and sadly, women. You can hate her actions and beliefs, but shut up and applaud her for stepping up. 

Also, lets stop judging her hair/wardrobe. She's dealing with a lot bigger issues than what color she looks best in. 

Unfortunately, women are still out numbered in politics, but they continue breaking down stereotypes, traditional views, and old political ideals. And can you imagine how hard that would be? Your environment consists of a lot of older white males who still largely believe that men should be in charge of government. So, congrats to any woman who is willing to fight her way through that.

5. Lastly, I'm going to bring up something that's always brought up in the work sphere, and tends to be true. A man can be tough or "mean" and is seen as masculine, but if a woman does the same, she's deemed a B word. Not okay, but that's life. And guess what? Women just shake that stereotype right off their shoulders and continue being their awesome fierce self's because they're women and they are full of class and sass. 

Also, look at our ever-progressing society. Our ancestors are probably so proud to see that women are in the working sphere. Not only that, but taking on what were once believed to be masculine jobs. 

So today, don't forget to celebrate your ancestors, your inspirations, and yourselves. Remember all that you're capable of and remember: you are a warrior by blood. 

The Best of Parks and Rec Season 6

Because sometimes you just need to scroll through a bunch of hilarity. 

I have been tense lately. Just thinking about the new star wars sequel. I’m worried they’ll rely too heavily on CGI and I’m carrying it all in my shoulders. -Ben

Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life. -Ron

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. -Ron

The bride wore a gown made by her friend Ann Perkins and the groom wore a butt so perfect it could make an angel hang himself. -Leslie 

Holy mother of Malia! And Sasha! I love them both equally -Leslie 

Why did it take me so long to realize this? There are no consequences to my actions anymore! No matter what I do nothing bad can happen to me. I am like a white male U.S. senator. -Leslie

Ann, you poetic and noble land mermaid. -Leslie 

I will leave my children $50 a piece. Enough for the cab ride home from the funeral and a steak dinner. End of discussion. -Ron

Things are exactly the same as they were in 1817. Except women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, and they don't burn widows for learning arithmetic. -Leslie

Do you hear that galloping? What? Oh my- look at that. Joe Biden on a horse. Shirtless. That’s amazing. -Ann

Look, if Ann wants to leave Pawnee I get it. Who wants to stay in the greatest town in the world with her best friend and be happy forever when she can abandon her soul sister like an old shoe and move to a garbage city full of jerks? I get it. No hard feelings. --Leslie 

Donna: “Yeah. Is there – and I’m just guessing here – some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of and have taken none of or maybe too much of today?”
Craig: “Oh I have a medical condition all right. It’s called caring too much. And it’s incurable. Also I have Eczema.”

Ron: History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.

Craig: Larry I swear to God if you leave right now I will make your spirit dog a miniature Schnauzer.

Andy: Look, Hogwarts.

Ben: No, that's Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don't you? It's important to me that you know that.