Breaking up with College: A Letter

Dear College,

I want you to know how great you are. I want you to know all of the wonderful things you've done for me--like showing me how to be a feminist, how to actually do math, and how to tell if my professor is really reading my essays.
I want to thank you for that little spot you had waiting for me, on the very first day of school. The one with the concrete bench and the freshly mowed grass with trees all around me. Your campus is beautiful.

But... you've also been really stressful for me. In fact, I can't remember a time where I wasn't biting my nails, shedding tears, or staying up until 4 in the morning to finish homework. And lately, I haven't been my happy, hyper, weird self. And I miss myself. The girl that would walk to the library once a week to get a new book, the girl that marched up and down the art supplies isle until she thought of something fun to paint, the girl who actually laughed at jokes instead of yawned or cried or hyperventilated.

This week, I've realized that I only have one life. Only one. I will only be 21 once. I will only be engaged once. I will only get married once. I will only have so many summers to sit outside reading, to sleep in my boat, to be with the ones that I love.

And I just don't think my summer should include those hyperventilating, sleepless, anxious nights anymore.

So I think we need to go on a break until Spring.
I'm sorry.
It's you, not me.

I love you.